Love 1.0

In this world where technology has taken over our lives, I often wonder what the meaning of love really is. Is it real? Do people still fall in love as the poets did? Or has it become another transaction in a fast paced, algorithm driven world? I hope one day I experience what it feels like to be loved and to love back someone. But for now I can’t help but think why are relationships difficult these days.

In the past relationships weren't perfect either especially for women. Love stories throughout history are marked by inequality and sacrifice, where women need to struggle for respect, independence and even dignity from their beloved. But somehow, the modern world seems even more complicated with its communicative ease and technologies. When everything is instantaneous, love itself becomes mechanical, isn’t it? The act of finding your soulmate has always been believed to be a one-time affair. However, everywhere you look, whether it be Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter, you can’t help but wonder, Are the relationships you see real?

Going on a date feels like a show.  People get fixated over “Snap scores,” endure “delivered wars,” and track their partner’s every move via the sharing location and social media following list. This isn’t love—it’s insecurity. Real love has nothing to do with who texted first, who took longer to reply, or who has more followers. But it certainly looks like the dating game has become one of power, strategy, and second-guessing.

In recent times, the advent of technology has also led to the rise of toxic acts such as “micro-cheating”. Somehow, the world has now accepted that messaging someone behind your partner’s back, deleting conversations with them, complaining about the partner to other people, or keeping in touch with the ex are not major red flags. They may call it 'micro' but to me there's nothing micro about being dishonest. Without trust, love is nothing. Without it, what’s left?

Then there are these ridiculous theories about relationships that seem to be created to stop us from even trying. The theory of “man’s first love" says that no matter how far a man’s first love is, he always carries her in his heart. The "taxi cab theory" suggests that a man will commit to the next woman he dates when he decides he is ready, no matter who she is. What kind of hope can that give us for building something real and lasting?

Today’s relationships are full of complications like “situationships”—ambiguous, undefined relationships where no one knows what the hell is going on. People choose them to avoid names or commitment but later feel pain or frustration upon realising they wanted more. And what about ‘friends with benefits’? It’s another modern convenience that rarely ends well—either you risk losing the friendship, or you enter a relationship on shaky ground. Where’s the honesty, the clarity, the openness?

For women, there’s yet another set of rules to navigate. The so-called "three-month rule" tells us to withhold intimacy for three months to make a man take us seriously. Apparently, if we give less, they’ll want more. Men, we’re told, love the chase, and if we don’t play along, they’ll get bored. But if you have to manipulate someone into loving you, is it even love? A person who truly loves you won’t get bored; they’ll love you more with every passing day. So why play games? Why not take the leap and fall in love, even if it means risking heartbreak?

Despite all this, I still believe in love—or at least, I want to believe in it. I want to experience love that is honest, vulnerable, and real. I want to trust someone and be trusted in return. But in a world so consumed by appearances, trends, and technology, finding that kind of love feels like chasing a dream. Maybe that’s what makes it so precious. Maybe, just maybe, it’s still out there. And maybe one day, I’ll find it.